Chapter 54 — The Search for Answers

I drove home, and the mood was sombre. Anna was coughing, and you could tell with each effort to cough it was hurting her. I phoned the ambulance later that evening.

'You don't have to come with me, Karl, as it's late; it's gone eleven, and Alex will have to be at school tomorrow and you have to work; you can come and visit me tomorrow, or I might be home before you get home,' and she laughed and touched my hand.

I watched as the ambulance door was closed, and it moved slowly away with Anna in it. I went back into the house. Rebecca told me Alex had gone to bed and she and Danny were going next door to their house, which Anna and Rakiya had bought them. It was then, and for the first time, I keyed into Google: 'lymph nodes'.

You only have to complete the first word and another word in Google comes to call: cancer.

This was the first serious consciousness I had of events. Nothing, absolutely nothing I'd thought of before, or even considered, was serious. But those two strange sounding words arrested my full attention that evening at the computer. I went to bed with dread that night.

The next day I went to work, and Alex went to school. There was no point waiting around and worrying, and besides, I knew that I had to keep occupied, to keep my mind focused. Rebecca, Danny, and Alex, in their youth and naivety still thought everything would be fine; I still thought everything would be fine as well, as even if Anna did have cancer, modern medication and treatment had advanced to such unimaginable heights, and with a 'bit of chemo,' my Anna would be fine.

When I returned home from work, Anna called the house.

'Karl, do you want the good news, or the bad news?'

'The good news.'

'I'm coming home tonight.'

'And what's the bad news?'

'They think I might have lung cancer.'

There are times in one's life when you ask the most ridiculous of questions, and I asked, 'What does that mean?'

'It means I'll have to have chemotherapy and will have to wear a wig, but you can choose it,' and Anna laughed.

We chatted for some further time and discussed the forthcoming treatment and how we'd work life around the remedy. Anna was animated and set forward plans of how we were going to get through the treatment if she had lung cancer. I knew by the way she was talking that she knew she had it, and the symptoms and ambulances compounded such a conclusion. We left the conversation with terms of endearment, and I phoned Rakiya to tell her about the lung cancer, but also to say everything would be fine and that I would come into work in the morning as usual and pick Anna up in the afternoon.

Rakiya inquired what the condition of lung cancer was, and I related the conversation I'd had with Anna as to the treatment, and we both left the conversation and phone call at that.

It was 9 o'clock. Bang on. I remember the time. I remember looking up at the kitchen clock when I put the phone down to Rakiya. It was bang on 9 o'clock.

Alex was on his game, and Rebecca had been pottering around with some washing, as their washing machine had broken. I told them the news, but not with a saddened heart, but with a heart full of optimism. I was confident at 9 o'clock everything would be fine.

Rebecca and Danny sat on the sofa watching a film, and Alex was playing on his game. I was on the computer, and I keyed into Google 'lung cancer'.