Frankenstein and Dracula: A Most Inconvenient Courtship
Chapter 2 — The Dinner of the Dead
← Stacey Melbourne / Frankenstein and Dracula: A Most Inconvenient Courtship
The following evening, Mary agreed to dine with Dracula.
She did so partly because she was curious, partly because she wished to understand why a vampire had travelled across Europe to court her, and partly because the creature had spent the entire morning standing beneath her window holding a second bouquet of dead roses.
Dracula had chosen an old manor overlooking the sea.
It was precisely the sort of place Mary expected a vampire to inhabit.
There were gargoyles.
There were portraits whose eyes appeared to follow her.
There were enormous stone fireplaces.
And there were bats.
Far too many bats.
Mary entered the dining room.
A long table stretched beneath a chandelier of blackened silver.
At the far end sat Dracula.
He rose.
“Mary.”
“Count.”
“I hope you approve.”
Mary looked around.
“It is very atmospheric.”
“I had the architect murdered when he suggested brighter lighting.”
“Naturally.”
Dracula pulled out her chair.
She sat.
He sat opposite.
A servant entered carrying a silver tray.
Upon it was a bottle of wine.
Dracula poured Mary’s glass.
She raised it.
“What vintage?”
“1847.”
Mary tasted it.
“Excellent.”
“I thought you might appreciate it.”
“Where did you get it?”
“Paris.”
“When?”
Dracula hesitated.
“1847.”
Mary slowly lowered her glass.
“Of course.”
The doors suddenly burst open.
The creature entered.
Dracula sighed.
“You were not invited.”
The creature approached the table.
“I brought dinner.”
He placed a large basket upon the table.
Mary opened it.
Inside were sandwiches.
Dracula stared.
The creature looked pleased.
“I made them myself.”
“How thoughtful,” Mary said.
Dracula looked offended.
“I have prepared an exquisite feast.”
The creature shrugged.
“I have ham.”
Dracula looked at Mary.
“Surely you do not prefer sandwiches to a banquet?”
Mary looked at the table.
The silver.
The crystal.
The candles.
Then she looked at the basket.
“Actually, I rather like sandwiches.”
The creature smiled triumphantly.
Dracula’s expression darkened.
“Perhaps we should discuss our relationship.”
Mary nearly choked.
“Our relationship?”
“I believe,” said Dracula, “that there is an understanding between us.”
“There is?”
“I invited you here.”
“You climbed through my window.”
“An invitation can take many forms.”
The creature sat beside Mary.
“I believe Mary should choose.”
Dracula’s eyes narrowed.
“And what exactly are you offering her?”
The creature thought.
“I can protect her.”
Dracula laughed.
“I have commanded armies of the dead.”
“I can carry her.”
“I can turn into a bat.”
“I can climb.”
“I can become mist.”
“I can survive being shot.”
Dracula paused.
“Can you?”
The creature nodded.
“I have been struck by lightning.”
Mary placed her hand on her forehead.
“Could you both please stop advertising your supernatural abilities?”
They fell silent.
Mary stood.
She walked to the fireplace.
“You want to know what I think?”
Neither answered.
“I think you are both ridiculous.”
Dracula looked wounded.
The creature looked devastated.
“You have both spent days competing over who is the greater monster.”
She turned.
“Neither of you has asked what I actually want.”
Silence.
Outside, thunder rolled across the sea.
Mary continued.
“I want conversation.”
Dracula blinked.
“I want intelligence.”
The creature straightened.
“I want someone who understands that being frightening is not the same thing as being interesting.”
Dracula looked at the creature.
The creature looked at Dracula.
Mary returned to the table.
“Now.”
She picked up a sandwich.
“Who is prepared to behave like a civilised person?”
Dracula raised a hand.
“I am.”
The creature raised his.
“So am I.”
“Good.”
Mary smiled.
For several minutes, they ate peacefully.
Then Dracula asked the creature:
“Do you actually know how your creator made you?”
The creature swallowed.
“No.”
Dracula looked amused.
“Neither does Mary.”
Mary looked up.
“Excuse me?”
“You never described the procedure in detail.”
“That is because it isn’t important.”
“It is rather important.”
The creature frowned.
“Victor Frankenstein created me.”
Dracula smiled.
“Victor Frankenstein.”
He leaned back.
“I knew I had heard that name.”
Mary’s expression changed.
“Why?”
Dracula’s smile disappeared.
“Because I have met him.”
The room became cold.
“Where?” Mary asked.
Dracula looked toward the window.
“In Vienna.”
“When?”
“Last winter.”
The creature stood.
“You never told me.”
“I didn’t know it concerned you.”
“What did he want?”
Dracula’s eyes settled upon Mary.
“Your manuscript.”
Mary froze.
“My manuscript?”
Dracula nodded.
“Victor Frankenstein has been searching for it.”
“Why?”
“Because he believes you know something.”
The candles flickered.
A shadow moved behind the curtains.
Mary stood.
“Something about what?”
Dracula’s voice dropped to a whisper.
“The secret of creating life.”
The creature’s face became expressionless.
And then, from somewhere beneath the floorboards, came a sound.
Three slow knocks.
Mary stared at the floor.
Dracula stood.
The creature clenched his fists.
Again.
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
Something beneath the manor was trying to get out.
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About Stacey Melbourne
Stacey Melbourne is a writer of darkly comic gothic fiction. Frankenstein and Dracula: A Most Inconvenient Courtship is her first piece for Tales From A Harrogate Caravan.
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