Got the Squeeze on Him by Nick

In the audience

Why do I have a sense of dread washing over me? You better not embarrass me in front of all these people…

Just watch… by the time you realise the meticulous planning that has gone into this preparation, it will go down in folklore, never to be bettered and never to be forgotten… they’ll be building a statue of me… looking over this school… people far and wide… knowing the sheer audacity… no the skill… the genius to pull off such a feat…

Now I am worried… you have not just kept this secret from me... but Beth’s parents have no idea of what you have planned either …

And that my dear Watson is why this will be talked about for years to come… here we go… brace yourself... tissues at the ready…

Even Mr Shaw looks apprehensive…

This my dear is show and tell on a grand scale… not just classroom antics… we have the school board… heads… dignitaries… building into a perfect storm… and if these two pull this off… there won’t be a dry eye in the house… brace yourself dear… there is no going back…

On stage

Charlie it looks very dark… is there anybody out there…

My dad said we could be playing to royalty here… but remember they shit and piss like everyone else… are you ready Beth…

Ready as I will ever be…

[French song lyrics – Je t'aime... moi non plus]

It's eerily quiet... Charlie why is no one clapping...… seems different now the lights have gone up…

Yeah… the only person I can see with a smile on his face is my dad…

So why are my mum and nana crying…

I don’t know Beth… but I’ve seen that look on my mums face before… Mrs Carol face looks like thunder... Mr Shaw got his hands behind his head and looking to the sky… looking at Miss Perkins… I don’t think it has done my dad any favours if he was trying to pull her…

Your dads face has just turned into a grimace…

Oh shit…

What Charlie

My dad said if that happens that mums got the squeeze on him...

But it doesn’t make any sense Charlie… we did it exactly as we were told… he was the one who choose it and told us to keep it a secret… not to tell anybody… not even my parents… I did keep it as a secret Charlie… I promise...

I know Beth… but this looks serious… very serious…