After Someone Dies

Chapter 3 — Arranging the Funeral

Arranging a funeral is usually the first substantial financial decision made after someone dies. It often happens before the family fully understands the estate, knows whether enough money is available or has confirmed who is legally responsible for dealing with everything.

Grief and time pressure can make it difficult to compare prices or question unnecessary costs. The family should take enough time to understand what the deceased wanted, what can reasonably be afforded and who will be responsible for the bill.

Look for funeral instructions

Before making arrangements, check whether the deceased left any funeral wishes. These may be found:

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The family should also ask whether the deceased discussed their wishes with anyone. Those wishes might cover burial or cremation, religious observance, music, readings, clothing, flowers, charitable donations or where the ashes should be placed.

Funeral wishes written in a will are not generally binding in the same way as instructions about distributing the estate. However, they should be treated seriously and followed where they are lawful, practical and affordable.

The original will should not be damaged, written on or separated from any document attached to it.

Check for a prepaid funeral plan

The deceased may already have paid for some or all of the funeral.

Search bank statements and paperwork for payments to funeral-plan providers or funeral directors. Contact any funeral director the deceased regularly mentioned or used for another family funeral.

A plan may cover only particular services. It might include the funeral director's basic services and coffin but exclude items such as a burial plot, flowers, notices, a wake, additional vehicles or charges for moving the person over a long distance.

Ask the provider for a written explanation of exactly what is included and what must be paid separately. Do not assume that the existence of a funeral plan means there will be no further bill.

Check for insurance and other financial provision

The deceased may have held life insurance, an over-fifties policy, death-in-service benefits, pension benefits or another policy intended to help with funeral costs.

Finding a policy does not mean that payment will be immediate. The provider may require a death certificate, claim form and evidence of the claimant's identity.

The policy money may also be payable to a named person or into the estate rather than directly to the funeral director.

Do not commit to an expensive funeral solely because an insurance policy has been found. Confirm how much is payable, who will receive it and when it is likely to be released.

Who should arrange the funeral?

A close relative will often take responsibility for the practical arrangements.

Where there is a valid will, the executors normally have the primary responsibility for dealing with the deceased's body and funeral arrangements. If there is no will, responsibility will usually fall to the person with the highest right to administer the estate.

In straightforward families, everyone may agree who should make the arrangements.

Difficulties arise when relatives disagree about burial or cremation, religious customs, cost, the location of the funeral or who should attend. The person arranging the funeral should communicate with the immediate family, but it may not be possible to satisfy everybody.

If a serious disagreement develops, obtain legal advice quickly. Funeral disputes are particularly difficult because decisions cannot always wait for the ordinary probate process.

Choosing a funeral director

A funeral director can collect and care for the deceased, help arrange the service and deal with burial or cremation requirements.

The family is not required to use the first funeral director it contacts. Unless religious or cultural timing makes this impossible, obtain written prices from more than one provider.

Funeral directors are legally required to display a standardised price list for a specified range of products and services. Ask for the standardised price list and a written estimate showing:

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Charges paid by the funeral director to other organisations are often described as disbursements or third-party costs. Make sure these are included in the estimate.

Membership of a recognised professional organisation may provide access to a code of practice and complaints process, but membership alone does not guarantee that a particular funeral will be suitable or affordable. The family should still read the agreement carefully.

The person signing may be responsible for the bill

This point must be understood before any contract is signed.

The person who instructs the funeral director may become personally responsible for the cost. They should not assume that the funeral director can claim payment only from the estate.

Funeral expenses can usually be paid or reimbursed from the estate if they are reasonable and sufficient estate funds are available. However, if the estate has little or no money, or the chosen arrangements are considered excessive, the person who signed the contract may be left with some or all of the bill.

If there is any doubt about the estate's ability to pay, keep the arrangements modest and obtain advice before accepting financial responsibility.

Do not feel pressured to overspend

A meaningful funeral does not have to be an expensive funeral.

Families may feel that choosing the most costly coffin, vehicles, flowers or service is a measure of how much they loved the person. It is not.

The funeral should reflect the deceased and the family without creating avoidable debt. Ask which items are essential and which are optional.

Possible ways to control the cost include:

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A direct cremation usually takes place without a conventional attended service. The family can then hold a memorial or celebration separately. This can reduce costs, but it will not suit every family, belief or set of wishes.

Burial or cremation

The deceased may have expressed a clear preference for burial or cremation.

If no wishes are known, the person entitled to arrange the funeral will need to decide after considering family, religious, cultural and financial factors.

Burial costs can vary significantly according to the location, whether a plot already exists and whether the deceased lived within the local-authority area. There may also be later costs for a headstone, inscription and maintenance.

Cremation may involve separate charges for the crematorium, service and treatment or collection of the ashes.

The family should decide who will collect or receive the ashes and record where they are kept. Do not scatter, divide or bury ashes while there is a serious family disagreement about what should happen to them.

Arranging the funeral without a funeral director

A family can arrange a funeral itself. This may involve contacting the cemetery, crematorium, council, celebrant, transport provider and coffin supplier directly.

A family-arranged funeral may reduce some costs and allow greater personal control. However, it also places more practical responsibility on people who may already be overwhelmed.

Contact the local council, cemetery or crematorium for its requirements before making arrangements.

Paying from the deceased's bank account

The deceased's bank account is usually frozen after the bank is notified of the death. This does not always mean the family must pay the funeral bill personally and wait for probate.

Many banks will release money directly to the funeral director from the deceased's account before probate is granted. The bank may require an original or certified death certificate and the funeral director's invoice.

The money is usually paid directly to the funeral director rather than handed to the family. Each bank has its own procedure.

Contact the bank before paying personally or assuming that probate must be obtained first. Do not use the deceased's bank card, cheque book, PIN or online banking to pay the funeral bill.

Paying from the estate

Reasonable funeral expenses are normally an expense of the estate.

Keep the final invoice and receipts for every payment. If a family member pays personally, record:

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Reimbursement should not be made casually before the estate's financial position is understood.

If the estate may be insolvent, meaning its debts may exceed its assets, obtain specialist advice before paying creditors or reimbursing family members. Debts and expenses must be dealt with in the correct legal order.

Help with funeral costs

A person receiving certain benefits may qualify for a Funeral Expenses Payment.

This payment can help with specified costs, including certain burial or cremation fees, necessary travel, moving the body in some circumstances and death certificates. It may also provide a limited amount towards other funeral expenses. It will not normally cover the full cost of the funeral.

Eligibility depends on the claimant's benefits, relationship to the deceased and family circumstances.

A claim must normally be made within six months of the funeral. It may be possible to apply before the funeral when there is a final invoice or signed contract rather than merely an estimate.

Any payment may later be recovered from money available in the deceased's estate. Families should check the current rules before signing an unaffordable funeral contract.

Children's funeral costs may be supported separately through the Children's Funeral Fund for England or the relevant arrangements in Wales.

When there is nobody able to arrange or pay

Where nobody is willing or able to arrange the funeral, the local authority may have a duty to make arrangements. This is commonly known as a public-health funeral.

The council will decide what arrangements are appropriate and may recover the cost from the deceased's estate.

A public-health funeral is not intended as a way for a family to choose a funeral and then ask the council to pay for it. Anyone considering this route should contact the local authority before instructing a funeral director or entering into a contract.

Donations, flowers and the wake

The family should decide whether it wants flowers, charitable donations or both.

If donations are collected, keep a clear record of the amount and where it was sent. Money collected for charity should not be mixed with estate money or used towards funeral expenses unless donors were clearly told that this was its purpose.

The cost of a wake or gathering may not always be treated in the same way as essential funeral costs. Keep such spending reasonable and record who authorised and paid for it.

Personal possessions needed for the funeral

The family may need clothing, jewellery, photographs, medals or other possessions from the property. Record anything removed.

If jewellery or valuable items are placed with the deceased, make sure the funeral director knows and records this. Consider whether the item will be buried or cremated and whether that is safe and permitted.

Do not remove unrelated possessions or begin dividing the contents of the home simply because family members have entered the property to collect funeral items.

Funeral checklist

1. Look for written or spoken funeral wishes.

2. Check for a prepaid funeral plan.

3. Check for life insurance, death-in-service benefits and other financial provision.

4. Confirm who has authority to make the arrangements.

5. Discuss the deceased's wishes with the immediate family where possible.

6. Obtain clear written prices before instructing a funeral director.

7. Understand who will be personally responsible for the contract.

8. Confirm exactly what is included and what is optional.

9. Check whether the deceased's bank can pay the invoice directly.

10. Keep the funeral proportionate to the money likely to be available.

11. Check whether help with funeral costs may be available.

12. Keep every contract, invoice and receipt.

13. Record personal items taken from the property for the funeral.

14. Keep charitable donations separate from estate money.

15. Obtain advice promptly if the family disagrees about the arrangements.

The funeral is one of the most personal parts of the process, but it is also a financial and administrative decision.

Careful choices can honour the deceased without placing unnecessary pressure or debt on those left behind.

The next step is to establish whether the estate is likely to require probate and who may be entitled to apply.

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About Harry Georgiou

Harry Georgiou is the owner of Swifty Clearances, a waste clearance business. He writes about responsible waste disposal, fly-tipping prevention, and the practical steps households and businesses can take to avoid inadvertently funding illegal waste operations.

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Chapter 3 — Arranging the Funeral

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About Harry Georgiou